no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Randomize