This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
