I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
