hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't think brook has ever known best
I look better un-naked...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
