I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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