how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
