Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
