So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
