You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize