News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
