The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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