Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
