worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ok first of all what the fuck
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
