About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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