I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
