She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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