there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
