i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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