Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
