yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
