Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
do herpes really smell.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
