I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
