I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
