Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
