the condom got lost in my hair
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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