I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Send help, water and tortillas.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
