She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
