Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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