i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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