I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
