I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
