Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
