I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
