He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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