And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
