names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
