And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
