Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
