just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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