Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
