and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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