shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
