Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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