I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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