are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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