The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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