He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
