i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize