Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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