pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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