I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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