At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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