What did we do last night that was yellow?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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