I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
