You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
